A customer is based on transactional business; a client is based on a relationship and the perceived value received from that relationship.

Of course, the value of a customer versus a client is also based on the perceived value one gets from that distinction. If someone believes there is little value in having a relationship with you, that person will most likely remain a customer. If the person perceives greater value in having a strong relationship with you, he or she is more likely to welcome and pursue that relationship and become a client.

Clients look at a number of factors when determining the value of the relationship, and these will differ depending on the individual client and his or her needs. To strengthen your relationship with each of your clients, you'll need to fully understand what is most important to them. What is it you provide that adds the most value to their relationship with you, as they see it?

To fully understand your clients' wants, needs, dreams and concerns, focus on the discovery process, which includes listening, questioning and caring. In communicating with clients it's important to cover four key areas of their lives and how you might be able to better understand them. These include:

1. Family — Size, Relationships, Values, Dynamics
2. Interests — Leisure, Philanthropy, Views
3. Finances — Investments, Salary, Needs, Attitudes, Philosophy
4. Career — Stage, Goals, Salary

Discovering these four areas will help determine your clients' life stages and financial situations as well as their wants, needs, dreams and concerns. Indeed, it is difficult to build a long-lasting relationship if clients won't go through this process with you. The foundation is trust.

Cross-Selling Opportunities

One of the spin-off benefits to gaining in-depth knowledge of clients' lives is that you're able to fully understand their needs and views, which presents sales opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have known about.

Upon further developing client relationships through those four key areas, you'll gain insight into products or services that can better meet their needs and concerns. Suppose, for instance, you find out the reason the Thompsons haven't bought into Estate Planning is because they don't feel comfortable leaving their estates to their children. All along, they're worried that an infusion of wealth would have a negative impact. Now you have an opportunity to reposition estate planning as a way of controlling how their assets are passed on, versus how to effectively transfer as much wealth as possible. Yet, had you not gone through the discovery process, you would never have known that.

Increasing Asset Share

It is well documented that financial service professionals often mistakenly assume they're managing all of their clients' assets. In truth, many if not most of your clients have money, assets and, more importantly, advisery relationships elsewhere.

Increasing asset share is about taking the extra time and resources to build your relationship with clients so that not only will they maintain their relationship with you (loyalty), they'll want to give you more (growth). When you've built — make that "earned" — that kind of relationship, clients can't say no. The strength of your integrity and professionalism far exceeds any efforts their other advisers have shown.

Before putting client relationships to the test, however, wait until you're sure you've both reached that level of trust. Otherwise you'll never know for sure where clients are coming from. (Remember it's okay to lie to a salesperson.) Wait until you've shown clients how committed you are to their success, and they've responded accordingly. (That's a judgment call only you can make.)

When it's time, don't phrase your question as a question. Make it a statement like this — "Obviously you have assets with other advisers, most prudent investors like yourself do. In order for me to effectively create and manage your financial plan I need to fully understand your entire financial situation. I admit I don't necessarily need to manage all of your assets, provided I at least know about them. That's part of ensuring a complete and successful plan. Frankly, though, I would like the opportunity of managing all of your assets and would like to earn the right to do so."

Growing Your Business

Imagine having an appointment with your doctor for a sore throat. You walk in; they sit you down in the waiting room, offer coffee, and within five minutes lead you to the doctor's office. The doctor greets you as if you were her best patient. She begins to sincerely ask what the problem is and continues questioning until she has a clear idea of what's wrong and what your concerns are. After that, she asks how you'd like to resolve your symptoms and what future actions you can take to avoid similar problems. She proposes a solution, confirms that you understand it, thanks you for your business and sends you off as a very satisfied client, no longer just a patient.

• How likely is it you'll remain a client of this doctor? Very likely!
• How likely is it you'll seek this doctor's advice on other health matters? Very likely!
• How likely is it you'll refer your family, friends and colleagues to her services? Very likely — again!

Simply put, focusing on building strong relationships with clients will not only maintain your business, it will help grow your business. The keys are providing quality and timely advice based on a full understanding of your clients' wants, needs, dreams and concerns. You present recommendations that show you understand and care, then explain how much you appreciate their business and the trust they've placed in you. A token of appreciation works well here from time to time.

A number of marketing and communication techniques, to be discussed later, will help strengthen your relationships with your "best" clients.