Developing Confrontational Skills
When most people think of the word "confrontation" there is an immediate association with negative emotions and the escalation of conflict. Confrontation, when handled properly, can be a very positive emotional process that results in not only resolving the conflict but in preventing future conflicts as well. The crucial step is in the approach.
We have found two factors crucial to decreasing tension and motivating resolution. These two factors are:
- A self-deprecating sense of humor
- A sense of humility
It is a physiological fact that laughter and tension cannot occupy the same space at the same time. For example, if you lifted a hundred-pound weight and someone told you a funny joke, you would drop the weight because the laughter diffuses the tension that allows you to lift the weight. This illustration translates into a good metaphor for the baggage people carry in the workplace—which often translates into interpersonal conflict. Approaching these conflicts with a self-deprecating sense of humor can help to diffuse the tension that prolongs the existing conflict.
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