A parent's death can take a heavy emotional toll. Adding to the grief is the task of disposing of the estate — not just homes, securities and bank accounts, but a lifetime of possessions. It's a painful responsibility Baby Boomers are now dealing with — or soon will be. How to prepare?
Disposing of an estate can be easier if parents have done some careful planning; not just leaving a will, but letting children know where bank and brokerage accounts and property are located. It can also help if parents write testamentary letters expressing their wishes about who gets family heirlooms, and explaining their reasons for these decisions.
Even with such planning, handling an estate can be an overwhelming task that often falls primarily to the child or children named as executors. The hardest and most time-intensive part is going through the parents' home. In many families, hard feelings over past differences resurface, making a difficult time more painful. If conflicts are serious, the Executor might want the advice of an estate-planning attorney. But as Steve Miller, Lawyer and CPA in Newport Beach, CA, notes, as long as an Executor carries out his or her responsibility, other siblings are unlikely to have a case.
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Before a parent's death, suggest clients get organized for estate settlement; write those testamentary letters, let their children know where tax other financial records, personal belongings and real property are, and how to access them.
After a parent's death, advise Executors to communicate openly about what they're doing and the actions they take. The more information other family members have the fewer questions will arise. When siblings can't agree on specific items, one solution is holding a lottery. The siblings draw numbers and select items they want as each item comes up. Household items no one wants should be sold, given to charity or discarded. Hiring an estate liquidator can help.
If questions remain about bank or securities accounts or real property, the answers will usually show up in the mail in the form of account statements, tax bills and 1099s.
